So, today, we’re going to explore the infamous ‘ruined orgasm’. I’m sure some of you reading this are pros at these already, but for those who aren’t the ruined orgasm is a wonderful tool in our denial handbag because while it lets him empty his balls it doesn’t give him any of the pleasure of a proper orgasm because you stop all stimulation as soon as he goes over the edge of climax (if not before) and he ejaculates, but it’s not pleasurable.
In general it also tends to keep them hornier than they would have been with a full orgasm, but that does vary.
Now the other thing I’m giving you today, is a script! This is something I’ve done a couple of times but this is a new one, and the idea is you can use it to tease him, to give you some ideas of things to say, and to inspire you with other stuff you can make up yourself. I’ve also tried to add some relevant pictures and links in too which you can use as much as you want to spice it all up!
I know some of you hardcore lot will not want to let him cum, even if it’s ruined, so just play with this as you feel fit and change your mind at the end! Or just lock him up and read it to him as you let him eat you out – it’s called a rehearsal!
Ruined Orgasm Script
To follow it precisely he should start clothed and caged, and you should have his key on a necklace. You’ll want something you can browse on together, and lube to wank him with. Try not to ruin him till the end but if it happens earlier just use it as a chance to see if he can go again!
Oh darling, are you all ready for your surprise? You’ve been so good, I know how horny you’ve been, and your poor cock, all locked up in that cage. I think it’s time for a reward, don’t you?
Let me see how you’re doing in there, strip down and show me. I can’t believe how much I love seeing you locked up in that thing. Isn’t that crazy? You know it actually turns me on now to think of you in it, and to see your poor little cock all safe and secure.
Come lie here, let me hold it.
Mmmm, I love how tight and full your balls get, do they ache baby? Look how full they are, all that cum stored up. Do you think we should empty them out, would that be a good reward? Can you imagine how good it will feel? You like that idea… oh dear, look how hard you’re trying to get. It really turns me on to see that.
See, I’ve got your key on my necklace, do you like that? So near, and yet so far…
Hmmm, maybe I’ll keep you in there just a little longer, my feet need a good rub. You do that while I do a little more research…
Mmm, that feels lovely darling, keep going. Oh this is fascinating. I’m getting very inspired.
What am I researching? I’m not sure I should tell you, it might spoil the surprise! Oh okay, I’m looking at different ways to make you cum! What different ways can you think of?
Oh, those are good, I hadn’t thought of some of them! But yes, what I was researching was actually ruined orgasms. You know, where you cum, well, kind of cum, but I stop all the stimulation just before you do, so I still get to enjoy your cum flowing out, but it’s not like a full orgasm. Doesn’t that sound interesting?
You don’t seem that keen, I wonder why that might be…
The big advantage seems to be that you stay nice and horny afterwards. After all this time getting you so turned on it just seems a waste to lose it all and go back to square one, don’t you think?
Well I do. So I’m hoping that a ruined orgasm might work. What do you think?
Well, if you don’t want a ruined orgasm we can always just keep you caged up. It’s entirely your choice baby. Anyway, one of the blogs I was reading says ‘ruined’ isn’t really a great name for it, it’s just, different!
Look at this baby, isn’t it hot?
Isn’t that amazing, the way it just flows out, rather than spurts! Oh I wonder how that feels? I do love it when you jet out your big thick loads but this is sexy too, don’t you think? Especially if you make those oh so sexy little moans of yours.
Mmm, just thinking about it gets me horny. You can stop on my feet now, that was lovely, thank you. Now, give my pussy some attention while I do more research.
Mmm, that’s it darling, use your mouth on my clit. Oh I’ve found a few blogs JUST about ruined orgasms! Who knew it was so popular?
This one’s French, but it has lots of videos. Mmm, good boy, keep licking me while I watch some. I might even show you some of my favourites.
(Play some of the videos so he can only hear them)
Can you hear it? Aww baby, do you wish you could see all these big cocks getting taken over the edge? Oh I think you’re stretching in that cage quite enough, hearing is enough for you.
Mmmm, that’s so hot. God, can you believe I’m watching videos like this while you go down on me, how hot is that!
Wow, if a cock that big still gets ruined maybe you shouldn’t cum at all? I’m only kidding baby, I’ll still ruin you! In fact, let’s take that cage off and I’ll play with you as I do some more research.
Oh and look, some don’t even take their cages off to do it! Maybe we don’t need to take yours off at all!
Gosh this site is like a wall of ruined orgasms! How does watching them make you feel?
Browse the gifs on that tumblr while you play with his cock
Oh my goodness, look at all these different ways the men are getting their orgasms ruined! I had no idea there were so many options! Mostly they use their hands, but there’s some here where they use their mouths or even their pussy!
Oh that’s so mean, just pulling out right at the end!
Oh my god, look at this one, it’s running out of him like a tap! I wonder if I can make you do that?!
If I’m going to ruin you, I want to do it properly. Hmmm, I wonder which works best. They seem to advise either completely taking my hands away or just holding the base.
Slowly stroke you right to the edge, and keep you there as long as I can. And then, when I think you’ve reached the point of no return just stop stroking and hold you, and watch. I think I might giggle too, is that bad. It’s such a hot mix of being curious and being mean, knowing how good it would feel if I just stroked a little more, and just not doing it, because I can. Because it’s hotter to keep you horny and attentive, than to give you that pleasure you crave so much.
The lovely thing is I can risk taking you over of course. Often when I’m edging you I’m worrying about not taking you too far so I back off a bit, but if I’m going to ruin you anyway I can really go to town trying to keep you on the edge.
But you have to promise to tell me when you’re close, okay? If you spurt and you haven’t’ told me I’ll be cross! I want to see just how close I can get you, and try to keep you there for a bit.
Actually the real trick is stopping and waiting, apparently it can take up to ten seconds for you to go over. The best kind of ruins are supposed to be where I’ve not stroked you right to the edge, but let you just slip over after pausing.
I say ‘best’, what I mean is that they make your cum slowly pour out of you rather than spurt. That’s what I really want to see today, even if it takes a few tries.
Oh, I found another picture, she’s obviously trying it too!
Hah, I love that expression, what do you think she’s saying?
I do like watching, and feeling you spurt but somehow it’s really hot to think of it flowing out of you. I guess it’s a bit like milking you. Milking that thick warm cum out of your aching swollen balls.
Oh yes, that’s a big advantage I didn’t mention did I? Often when you’ve only been ruined, I can just keep going and do it again, and again. Oh maybe I can completely empty your balls! I wonder if that really happens, actually run dry! That would be so hot!
So I’ve read some keyholders only ever let their partners have ruined orgasms! Do you think that’s real or just a fantasy?
Apparently you start to crave even that little bit of release. Can you imagine that? Can you imagine being so desperate you’ll beg to to be ruined, not even to have an orgasm?
Gosh, maybe I’ll like it so much it’s all I’ll let you have in future.
I do love making you cum, but the contrast afterwards is so stark, maybe if a ruined cum means you stay much more horny and attentive then that’s the way to go? I guess we’ll find out.
I’ve decided, I want to ruin you, I want to see how well I can do it.
No? You’d rather have a nice big full orgasm? Well sorry chastity boy, that’s not on offer today. Nope, I can stop now and lock you back up again, or I can ruin you, which would you like it to be?
No, don’t just say it, ask for it, make me believe it. ‘Please ruin my orgasm’.
Mmmm, l like that. What else can I make you say…’Make me swallow my cum’
Oh that’s hotter when you say it! Just think of all those times you wanted me to swallow, and now it’s your turn. It’s just recycling I guess! Mmm, where on my body would you most like to lick your cum off?
Oh really?! Kinky! I’ll remember that for another day!
I think my favourite idea is me being right on the edge while you fuck me (because that makes me a bit of a bitch, doesn’t it baby, and that’s kind of hot.) And then, instead of cumming you pull out and just let your cock spurt out onto my bottom without touching it at all. It’ll be so frustrating but so hot. You’ll want to slam it back in me to make it feel good but you’ll be so self controlled and just watch your orgasm wasted all over my skin.
Mmm, look at this one, I love it! I bet that would feel so sexy. For me darling, obviously.
But today, yes today I think it’s all about practising.
I want to see if we can just make it ooze out like in those pictures. So what we’re going to do is get you right to the edge, and then I’m going to slide my hand down just as you I think you’re ready to go over. And I’m going to hold it for ten whole seconds, yep, that’s what they recommend. And if you don’t go over, I’ll do it again, and again, and again until we tip you over that edge. Feel free to beg to cum, I’m going to ignore you, but it’s kind of hot hearing you say it.
Now, what shall we watch while we get you there, how about a nice ruined orgasm compilation? Or that wall of ruined orgasms (Pick what you fancy or just search tumblr or pornhub for ‘ruined orgasms’ and see what you get).
Now, I want you to tell me when you’re close, tell me what to do to keep you right on the edge, what feels best. Let’s use more lube, very good.
How full do your balls feel baby, is it going to be good to empty them at last? Is it hot or frustrating I’m just going to ruin it? I have to be honest, the thought is really turning me on.
Hand me my vibe baby, I want to cum while I edge you. Mmmm, that feels so good. And I love knowing I’m going to have a nice big orgasm while you only get ruined. Isn’t that so mean? It’s so hot to be mean nowadays, what have you done to me?
Oh god I’m close, I want to be such a bitch when I’m like this, squeezing your cock in my hand as I masturbate. Mmmmm, I just want to whisper naughty things in your ear as I cum…
(Pick what you fancy from below or just make your own up!)
I fucking love this.
I love keeping your cock in a cage
I love how horny it makes you
I want to keep you like that all the time
Your little cock is my plaything now
Maybe I shouldn’t even ruin you, maybe I should keep you full and desperate
Don’t you cum yet, I cum first, or I’ll make you drink it, is that clear?
Oh I’m really close, get your head down there and finish me, I want to cum on your face.
After you (not he) orgasms
Mmmm, that’s better. Now, where were we, oh yes, ruining you! I can focus at last, heh heh.
Then again, I could just get you to make me cum again and we can lock you back up. You don’t seem that desperate to be ruined, are you?
Really, are you sure, say it again, tell me you want me to ruin your orgasm.
Mmm, I do love how that sounds, come on then…
Now, some more lube and let’s get you right to the edge. Does that feel good baby? I love it when you’re this horny.
Are you ready honey, ready to be ruined?
Finally take him over if you haven’t already!
Oh no, that spurted far too much. Hmm, I wonder how much is still in there. I read on one blog I can ruin you a few times in a row. Let’s see if we can do better this time.
And continue as you wish, locking him back afterwards. Maybe say if you can ruin him four times he can stay out overnight…
The so-called “ruined” orgasm is one of the most intensely pleasurable, toe-curling, sweat-inducing, back-arching, fist-clenching, teeth-gnashing, brain-bending tricks you can use in the bedroom to drive your man into an animal sexual frenzy. It is also perhaps the least understood and most underused method of extending and delivering pleasure to both partners.
This post is mainly for my fellow ladies out there (you wives and girlfriends), but you gentlemen are welcome to follow along, too (if you like what you see, then I strongly encourage you to pass this along to your girlfriends!). I hope this post corrects some of the big misconceptions about “ruining” the male orgasm, teaches you how to do it, and convinces you to try it, in real life – tonight! Even if you don’t succeed the first time (or the second time, or the third…) the learning process alone is insanely fun for both of you, and the payoff, once you get it right, will blow your minds!
The Name Is Misleading: It’s Still An Orgasm!
I think the biggest misconception about ruined orgasms comes from the word “ruined.” It sounds bad. It sounds like torture or something you would do to someone you don’t like very much. Presumably, you love your man. You want him to be happy. Orgasms make him happy, and you enjoy giving him the biggest and best orgasms he’s ever had in his entire life. Why on Earth would you ever want to “ruin” his orgasm? That makes no sense!
The name is simply wrong. A properly ruined orgasm is STILL an orgasm! It’s not “ruined” at all! It feels profoundly different to him, but it still feels GREAT – especially if you use it as a tool to extend your lovemaking!!
The so-called ruined orgasm is a special kind of climax, achieved in a very specific way, that triggers a slightly different sequence of physical, emotional, and hormonal reactions in his body. A “ruined” orgasm feels profoundly different from a “regular” orgasm. To a man accustomed to and expecting normal orgasms (i.e., all men) the sudden surprise of new and different sensations might be confused, in his hyper-aroused brain, with disappointment. (My husband used the word “unexpected”) I think that’s where the word “ruined” comes from. He was expecting a very specific, fantastic sensation – but you gave him a slightly different (still fantastic) sensation instead, and his irrational gut reaction might be frustration.
It’s like when you bite into a chocolate, expecting it to be filled with delicious caramel – only to discover, once it’s in your mouth, that it’s actually filled with delicious strawberry. You were expecting one thing, but at the last second, you got something different. Your gut reaction (you can’t help it) might be disappointment. Caramel and strawberry are both great, though! Your “disappointment” or “frustration” derives from the dissonance in your mind between expectation and reality. Your taste buds and pleasure centers were trained and prepared for chocolate-covered caramel. They got chocolate-covered strawberry instead. Does that negate the yumminess of the chocolate? Does that mean the chocolate was “ruined”? Of course not!
From the first time your man discovered he could pleasure himself (spoiler alert: many years before he met you!) the male brain is thoroughly trained to expect a specific sequence of sensations during orgasm. Men don’t naturally ruin themselves. And, assuming your man had other girlfriends before you, (just keeping it real, ladies… he probably did) couples usually don’t ruin the male orgasm during typical, natural, fumbling, instinctive sex. So your man may have never experienced the sensations you are about to give him. His pleasure centers are deeply tuned to expect caramel, every time, and you are about to show him strawberry. He can’t help but be surprised by the taste, even if you tell him it’s coming. Does that make strawberry “bad”? Of course not! Strawberry is great! It’s just different.
So please, please, PLEASE don’t feel bad about ruining your man’s orgasm! The word “ruin” has so many negative connotations. It’s a terrible word for what’s really happening. It’s doing terrible damage by discouraging loving couples from trying this wonderful activity. I didn’t pick the word, but I use it, because that’s the word everybody else uses, so at least we know what we’re all talking about. Some people use the phrase “touchless orgasm” instead – better, but still not perfect.
I say: Focus on the word “orgasm”. Orgasms are unequivocally GREAT! You are giving him a special kind of orgasm! That’s a GOOD thing! What’s so special about it, you ask? Well…
Ruined Orgasms = Extended Pleasure
I’ll get to how you achieve ruined orgasms a little bit later. But first, why? What’s the benefit of a “ruined” orgasm over a “regular” one?
Ruined orgasms trigger a slightly different sequence of physical, emotional, and hormonal reactions in the male body. All of this is involuntary. It’s a reflex, and all men have it. Just like normal orgasm, he can’t control it. Whereas a normal orgasm causes him to go limp and enter what doctors call the “refractory period” where he is no longer motivated to have sex, a ruined orgasm has the opposite effect – it causes him to stay hard, fully aroused, hyper-energized, and HIGHLY motivated to have sex.
Yup! He gets to have an orgasm… immediately followed by MORE pleasure! MORE sex! As far as perks go, that’s a huge fucking perk!
But that’s not all. It also relaxes the urgent release channels, in his brain, temporarily raising his tolerance for sexual pleasure and increasing his stamina. Simply put… a man who’s been ruined once or twice (or more!) in a single night can fuck you harder and longer than you ever thought possible. He can fuck (or get fucked) continuously, relentlessly, at full intensity until you’ve had as many orgasms as you want and you’re both thoroughly exhausted. Go ahead, get sweaty! Let him wreck you! Flip him and ride him to your heart’s content! He will stay rock-hard the entire time, and he won’t cum! Or, if he does cum, it will only be after a long, intense lovemaking session, far beyond his normal, natural physical capacity. It’s fucking AWESOME! Some of the best sex you will ever have!
Basically, a ruined orgasm (or three) multiplies his sexual endurance for the rest of the night, without reducing his desire. In fact, it amplifies his desire, because he gets to experience a higher pleasure plateau than he would normally be capable of experiencing! Normally, when you crank him up to “10″, he cums. After a few ruined orgasms, you can crank him all the way to “20″ and he keeps going! Huge win for BOTH of you!
The Physical Effect, Explained
In a normal orgasm, the male hits his peak of pleasure, then comes crashing down in a wonderful, violent torrent of release, followed by an involuntary rest-and-recharge time called the “refractory period.” Powerful muscle contractions fire bursts of pent-up cum from his body. He feels a warm, satisfying wash of hormones. Then his cock goes limp and his entire body instinctively commands him to rest and recover. It’s over for now. No more sex, for either of you.
In a ruined orgasm, the male hits his peak of pleasure, tips just barely over the edge, but the violent crash is not triggered. It’s not triggered, because the expected physical stimulation is absent (more on that, later). Weak muscle contractions struggle to squeeze the cum from his body. Instead of firing bursts, he leaks out. He feels an electric tremor throughout his body, distinctly different from the warm wash of a normal orgasm, but still intensely pleasurable. Importantly, the sense of “satisfaction” never triggers. He had an orgasm, and he unloaded some cum, but he feels “unfinished.” He’s still rock hard, and he wants more. He NEEDS more. Your night is just getting started…
Exactly How To Ruin A Man
Okay, you’re sold on the idea. Now… how do you do it?
The core concept is actually very simple. If “10″ is his point-of-no-return (the point at which his reflexes kick in and orgasm becomes inevitable), then you want to take him to “10″ exactly… then let go, back off, and cease all stimulation. As long as he doesn’t touch himself, his reflexes will carry him through a ruined orgasm. Mission Accomplished!
Like this:
Sounds easy enough. It’s an art, though, and there is a difference between a good ruined orgasm and a great one. To bend your man’s brain and give him truly epic ruined orgasms, you need to know his body very, very well. You need to study his specific sequence of escalating physical pleasure signals, to identify the first possible moment in the sequence where you can let go and cause him to still cascade through climax. Arched back, tensed muscles, grunts, whimpers, pulsing cock, retracted balls – every man has his signals. Watch closely while you pleasure him. Study your man. Learn your man!
It is a common misconception that you should let go “at the last possible second.” That’s wrong, and it’s the easiest beginner mistake to make.
Like this:
That’s a mistake! That’s NOT the best possible ruined orgasm! (It’s still an orgasm, so don’t feel bad about it… but you can do better)
She let go too late. He was already cumming by the time she let go. He was already cascading down the waterfall of full orgasm, firing bursts of cum like normal. He is likely to be fully satisfied, go limp, and enter the refractory period. No more sex tonight.
But, hey… if you’re going to fail, at least it’s a fun way to fail! That’s another perk of this trick. You will probably fail, many times, while you perfect your technique. But at least it’s the most fun either of you will ever have while failing at something!
Another example of letting go too late:
Instead of letting go “at the last second” you actually want to let go as early as possible.
You want him to hang, untouched, on the verge of climax, for as long as physically possible, before his body reflexively sends him over. Do it correctly, and his cum should just dribble out, under weak contractions.
Like this:
Or this:
See the difference? Especially that last one. See how long he “hangs” without any stroking, before weakly tipping over? That tiny eternity feels fucking glorious to him! With lots and lots of practice on your man, you want to extend that “hangtime” to be as long as possible.
Practice Makes Perfect
With good communication, you can find the perfect timing together, by working your way “backwards” from the moment of his orgasm. Start by having him tell you, out loud, when he hits what he believes to be his point-of-no-return. Back off at exactly that moment (the urge to keep touching him will be VERY strong – you must resist the urge!). With him telling you when to stop, your first few times might look something like this:
That’s pretty good (and, of course, it feels amazing for him!) but you can do better. Men always misjudge their own point-of-no-return. It’s probably long before he says it is.
The problem is: He’s in a mindless pleasure-trance. (you put him there!) So he’s not the most reliable person right now. In order to find his true point-of-no-return, you need to study the cascade of physical reactions happening in his body in the precious seconds before he calls “stop.” Then, night after night, progressively work your way backward through that cascade, stopping sooner and sooner, on your own (without him telling you when to “stop”), until you find the point where he doesn’t climax at all. Then, night after night, slowly and very carefully work your way forward again, until you find the point where he lingers for 5 to 15 seconds, untouched, before leaking uncontrollably. Then, night after night, re-test that same exact point, and tiny variations around that point, until you have him totally “figured out.”
Congratulations! You now know how to destroy your man – how to make him cum with maximum pleasure, without ending your night of fun – how to utterly and completely fuck him up in the best possible way! When he regains consciousness, I promise he will thank you, with pure awe and love in his wide, exhausted eyes.
Notes And Tips
Restraints help a LOT! He will desperately crave that familiar sensation of “satisfaction.” In a mindless craze, he might reach down and try to finish himself with his hand, ruining all the hard work you did together. It might be nearly impossible for him to resist this instinctive urge. Don’t blame him or get mad at him if he does. Just tie him down, so it never happens again.
Like this:
That gif brings me to my second important note: “Leaking” is an excellent signal that you’ve done everything right. But every man is different, every night is different, and every orgasm is different. You might do everything exactly the same way, every time, and one time your man might leak under weak contractions; another time he might fire untouched bursts of cum, like a seemingly normal orgasm. On different nights, he might leak different amounts. One night might look like this:
Basically… the power of his “cumshot” is a clue to help you know if you’re doing it right, (weaker is better) but it’s not the entire answer. This is human sexuality we’re talking about here… Everything is subjective, hard to describe, and seems to change for no reason on a daily basis. Want to know if you ruined him right? Ask him! Then, try something slightly different, and ask him about that, too!
Another huge clue that you’re “doing it right” will be in his refractory period – or lack of one. After a typical good ruined orgasm, his cock should not “wilt” at all. He should stay aroused, erect, and eager for more action – although he might be painfully oversensitive for 1-3 minutes. Give him a short break, then go at it again – that’s kind of the whole point of this. Ride him, suck him, stroke him, whatever you want. Ruin him again and again, if you like. If he’s able to stay hard, yet his stamina is miraculously 1000% better, then you definitely ruined him right.
Which brings me to my final note: You can absolutely ruin your man multiple times in one night. Do it!! There’s no real refractory period, remember? He stays unsatisfied and desperate for more, remember? He stays erect and physically able, remember? That’s pretty much the perfect formula for multiple orgasms. It’s one of the only ways that men can achieve that elusive wonder which comes naturally to some of us lucky women. So give him a treat! Ruin him once, give him a minute or two to recover, then ruin him again! And again! And again! As long as you give him a few minutes’ break between sessions, (and don’t fuck up the technique) you can pretty much keep ruining him all night long. He will eventually run dry and start “shooting blanks” – exhausted cock throbbing weakly, but nothing coming out – that’s probably a good time to stop. Conversely, it’s a GREAT time to hop on his hard, empty dick and ride yourself silly. Your call!
Ruined Orgasms As Part of Tease and Denial
Many couples who practice edging, tease, and denial integrate ruined orgasms into their play. My husband and I definitely do – it’s pretty much essential to us. Different couples will define “denial” in different ways. You can define denial for yourself. But my definition of denial means I control my husband’s orgasms. I allow him to have orgasms, but he can only have them on my terms. That means… when I want him to have a “full” orgasm, I give him a “full” orgasm. The rest of the time? I either tease and deny him, or I ruin him. He never knows what I plan to do until I do it.
Thus, every time he feels himself hitting the point-of-no-return, he experiences a delightful flash of uncertainty – a moment of pure submissive defenselessness and surrender – because his most basic male involuntary reflex is now under my complete control. I can choose to “finish” him. Or I can choose to “ruin” him. He gives that choice to me, willingly, lovingly, every time. It is his love letter to me – the single greatest gift he is physically capable of offering – and I cherish it. I respect it. I handle it with utmost love and care. And it makes me a fuller, more confident, more satisfied, happier woman. It makes our marriage stronger, and I adore him for it.
I strongly encourage any couple who plays with edging, teasing, or denial to try ruined orgasms (if you haven’t already). Learn them. Master them. And add them to your arsenal of pleasures. You both will thank me!!
PS: Special thanks to my husband, who (on my orders) scoured tumblr to find those many wonderful gifs and videos of lovely ruined orgasms. This was only a subset of the many he found and sent to me. I can only imagine how delightfully frustrating it was for him, searching through countless femdom and porn blogs, looking for video of men getting ruined – while he, himself, is currently enduring the longest, most intense denial he’s ever experienced. He’s survived two months of daily edging and teasing without a “full” orgasm, and he still has a month to go! My husband is a fucking champion, and after he sent me those gifs, I “rewarded” him with three hours of intense, mind-breaking, relentless edges… followed by a single ruined orgasm. The poor man basically melted in my hands. It was glorious!!
nfrdm 